I was reading Amazon, looking at reviews of the Pirates of the Caribbean edition Game of Life...and discovered something disturbing.
THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
Of the reviews I read, before my own lungs came up to throttle my brain to save me from madness, I noticed a disturbing trend of people who had, as their chief complaint, the 'fact' that the edition I was viewing had "nothing to do with POTC".
I sussed it quickly. These people seem to think that Pirates of the Caribbean is a movie franchise. Amazing how quickly Disney built that bloody ride after the unexpected, runaway success of Curse of the Black Pearl, innit?
A few facts, just to clear the air:
The Pirates of the Caribbean is a dark ride that was first opened in Disneyland, in California, in the year 1967. It featured a humorously lusty crew of audioanimatronic pirates sacking a Spanish town. The only named character that can be verified is the mayor of the town, who is referred to as "Carlos" by the woman, presumably his wife, in the upstairs window as he is being dunked in the well.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is a film, based upon the ride(s) that premiered in 2003 and was a blockbuster to the joy and surprise of the Walt Disney company.
The edition of POTC Game of Life to which these reviews were appended was, essentially, the theme park edition, not the film franchise.
And just so we are clear, there really were pirates in the Caribbean centuries before either the rides or the films. I cannot verify the existence of Spanish mayors named Carlos, but it seems plausible.
So to anyone on Amazon who wrote or will write a review demonstrating such seeming ignorance, as much as I enjoy the film franchise and Johnny Depp's work, please, understand that the world did not begin when you woke up and 'discovered' it. Got that, Columbus? Good.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Next Gen MMO...who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
Or, rather, I wish that were the case.
I would very much like to see a Ghostbusters MMORPG. Given the sorry state of MMOs today, we need a paradigm shift to reach the next gen. Yes, DCUO has a next gen combat system, but I want more. I'm greedy.
I have the basics down for this game. First your character would be a new employee in a Ghostbusters Franchise operation. If you remember the film, Dr. Venkman says to Dr. Stantz, "The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams." This idea was later picked up by West End Games in their Ghostbusters RPG (2 editions) where the players were employees or owners of a Ghostbusters franchise. Here is where my MMO idea starts. You can have any number of players, they work for a franchise outfit.
Classes and levels: No need. I want to see a shift away from the Gygax paradigm with scaling levels and scaling difficulty. Skill gaming, or rather, games that use skills to define the player, sometimes called 'classless' gaming are where I am looking. You wouldn't need 'races' as Ghostbusters is a game about being a human struggling against the supernatural world.
Magic, healing, and so forth would certainly fit. No matter how scientific (or pseudo-scientific) you get with regard to ghosts, magic is just a part of the whole supernatural experience. Mages in Ghostbusters? Why not, as long as it doesn't become a fireball throwing Gandalf-man you should be fine. Healing? Isn't that what an EMT, doctor or combat medic does? Of course it is. As Rikalonious said, "out of combat" healing though.
PVP: I enjoy PVP. Many people do. Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) had PVP in the form of Monster Play. A character could enter the monster play zone at about level 40, if memory serves, but once a player had a level 10 character he could enter as a "monster" that was level 50. I envision the same thing. A player can enter PVP and choose to play a 'ghost' or 'monster', thus giving a strong PVP zone to the game and allowing a player the freedom to be both a hero in PVE and monster in PVP.
I realize that licensed material carries certain pitfalls, including the annoying use of franchise characters. Well since every game features a 'training zone' these days, I say here is the chance to game with Egon, Ray, Winston and Peter. Your first few 'training zone' missions would be in NYC training under the company owners, just so you don't ruin the company name by breaking things as a green recruit, then it is off to your home city once you are through with the training days.
These are just my initial thoughts on this. Some company, cough, Atari, cough Mythic, should jump on this stellar idea.
Or, rather, I wish that were the case.
I would very much like to see a Ghostbusters MMORPG. Given the sorry state of MMOs today, we need a paradigm shift to reach the next gen. Yes, DCUO has a next gen combat system, but I want more. I'm greedy.
I have the basics down for this game. First your character would be a new employee in a Ghostbusters Franchise operation. If you remember the film, Dr. Venkman says to Dr. Stantz, "The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams." This idea was later picked up by West End Games in their Ghostbusters RPG (2 editions) where the players were employees or owners of a Ghostbusters franchise. Here is where my MMO idea starts. You can have any number of players, they work for a franchise outfit.
Classes and levels: No need. I want to see a shift away from the Gygax paradigm with scaling levels and scaling difficulty. Skill gaming, or rather, games that use skills to define the player, sometimes called 'classless' gaming are where I am looking. You wouldn't need 'races' as Ghostbusters is a game about being a human struggling against the supernatural world.
Magic, healing, and so forth would certainly fit. No matter how scientific (or pseudo-scientific) you get with regard to ghosts, magic is just a part of the whole supernatural experience. Mages in Ghostbusters? Why not, as long as it doesn't become a fireball throwing Gandalf-man you should be fine. Healing? Isn't that what an EMT, doctor or combat medic does? Of course it is. As Rikalonious said, "out of combat" healing though.
PVP: I enjoy PVP. Many people do. Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) had PVP in the form of Monster Play. A character could enter the monster play zone at about level 40, if memory serves, but once a player had a level 10 character he could enter as a "monster" that was level 50. I envision the same thing. A player can enter PVP and choose to play a 'ghost' or 'monster', thus giving a strong PVP zone to the game and allowing a player the freedom to be both a hero in PVE and monster in PVP.
I realize that licensed material carries certain pitfalls, including the annoying use of franchise characters. Well since every game features a 'training zone' these days, I say here is the chance to game with Egon, Ray, Winston and Peter. Your first few 'training zone' missions would be in NYC training under the company owners, just so you don't ruin the company name by breaking things as a green recruit, then it is off to your home city once you are through with the training days.
These are just my initial thoughts on this. Some company, cough, Atari, cough Mythic, should jump on this stellar idea.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Next Gen MMO failure
A term often bandied about in MMO circles is "Next Gen". I have asked my wife, who has years more experience in MMOs than me, "What makes a next gen MMO?".
No good answer has be produced. We just don't know.
If any MMO sub-genre needs the Next Gen treatment, it is superhero MMO. At present I have played 3 Superhero MMOs (I have also played 3 supers table top games and read many more). Each superhero MMO (SHMMO) has failed on some key point.
City of Heroes/City of Villains (COH/COV) had much to recommend it in character design, especially given its age. I found the missions to wear thin after a while, however and the template or metaclass system is not superhero appropriate.
Champions had the most attractive and robust paperdoll of any MMO I'd ever played. A SHMMO needs a vast, and I mean VAST, amount of colors, costume pieces, and body styles. Super is all about costume and powers. Champions, however, had uninspired gameplay. It promised far more than it could hope to deliver. It originally seemed to eschew the metagame templates, but as of Free-Play it is restricted to the same tired metaclasses.
DCU Online has mediocre costumes at launch and the color palette leaves a little to be desired. The power sets are not ideal (Superman is an 'ice' hero), but it's choice to separate the 'powers' from the 'combat skills' was great. DCUO comes closest to the superhero feel by having EVERYONE be a damage dealer, then tacking on the metaclass.
Just to be clear, by metaclass I am speaking of TANK, HEALER, DPS, RANGED DPS, CONTROLLER, etc. These roles simply do not fit the super hero mold.
Superman is often seen as a PROTECTOR or DEFENDER, which is superhero MMO METACLASS speak for 'TANK'. He absorbs damage, protects the hard hitters and controllers. Sure, of course he would step in front of a bullet to save Batman, but he is also a VERY HEAVY HITTER. Do laser beam eyes and the ability to move the planet not equate to DPS somehow?
MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A CATWOMAN
Anyone who grew up on tabletop RPG knows that problems are not always solved by simply doing damage. A thief sees the world differently than does a cleric or a wizard. When presented with a problem in a tabletop campaign a thief looks at his skills to survive and succeed, while a wizard looks at this spellbook. Unfortunately years of uninspired MMO programming and dull-witted children playing the games have led to the current state of gaming. The MMO does not provide multiple solutions to a problem, just multiple classes seeking the same solution: kill it. The stealther, the tank, and the nuker all need to do the same thing, which is outdamage the foe, they simply approach the goal in predictable, but different ways. When put together into a group they automatically fall into their role or fail.
Comic readers and fans of the genre know that there is more separating Flash, Batman, Spiderman and Superman than simply strength and roles. They think differently from one another. If a smilodon, brought through a time portal, was let loose in THE CITY, each would solve the problem differently. Batman would use a gadget to capture the beast, then spirit it away to the Batcave's Bat Prehistoric Menagerie Wing. Flash would use his speed to baffle the great cat, maybe fun off, get some bait, and lead it away from the public, tricking it into a zoo cage. Spidey would just web it up, but then the writers would forget how strong his webs are supposed to be and the sabretooth would just cut free. Supes wouldn't even get winded dealing with this. He'd probably fly it back in to the past as well.
In a standard MMO (fantasy mostly) the nuker would nuke it, the stealther would sneak up and use a set of combos and the tank would take a long time to kill it. No inspired gameplay.
SHMMO deserves a next gen treatment. Looking at the older DDO we saw a game where, through instanced gameplay, the DnD 3.5 classes actually used their 'skills' not just their line of damage abilities to solve problems. There were also puzzles that the player actually had to solve or suffer. There were traps for the rogue to disarm and locks that required a specific 'stat' like Charisma or Wisdom to undo. All of this made for a 'tabletop' experience. Bioware's Neverwinter Nights was capable of the same through networked play and modding.
SHMMO deserves such a treatment. Certainly the popular image of comics is the 4 color slugfest. Muscled men and buxom women duking it out in mindless violence. Every true comics fan knows that this image is false. Comics are varied and exciting with characters who eschew violence as much as bellicose pugilists glorify it. Shouldn't the Next Gen MMO be the SHMMO?
At present the SHMMO has fallen into the same boring MMO rut as the extant fantasy games. The metagame is still the same, with the metaclasses unchanged, save for the names, and no hope of inspired gameplay waiting in the wings. Things are looking grim for Star Wars: The Old Republic as well. SWTOR is being produced by Bioware, the company that brought the world two iterations of Neverwinter Nights and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. SWTOR deserves to be THE NEXT GEN MMO, but will it?
According to my sources, no it will not. Success in this business is determined by subscriptions. Bums in seats. Thus the designers must give the people what they want. The sad truth would seem to be that the people say they want fresh, new, and Next Gen, but demonstrate through forums, beta tests and their purchasing dollars that they want more of the same. If it ain't broke, don't fix it; what if it never worked in the first place?
The first MMOs grew from the love of the (tabletop) game, yet computers were just too limited to provide the full tabletop experience, which is one of possibilities and human interaction. The tabletop game featured game controllers who could and would fudge a die roll to save the story, who could adjudicate a situation not covered in the rules book (programming), and who were capable of shifting the pre-programmed adventure to suit the needs of the consumer. When presented with a cat that needed skinning, the tabletop GM could be convinced that perhaps the cat didn't need skinning after all. When presented with 4 standard ways to solve the problem the human GM could handle that new, innovative and slightly insane 5th way. None of this is part of the MMO. To make it mass market and profitable the designers needed to focus on doing one or two things well. Those things were combat related. Since that time MMOs have been defined by COMBAT and the esoterica of tabletop, such as Stats, Skills, and Choices have all given way to an action bar full of ATTACKS, SPELLS, and BUFFS. This is great in a wargame sense, but is not good enough for SHMMO and certainly not the path to Next Gen, unless, as failed evolutionary science teaches us, the Next Gen is just more of the same, parent to child to grandchild.
With such a shallow and polluted gene pool as we currently have in this post-Blizzard MMO world, how can we expect Next Gen to be any different from This Gen?
No good answer has be produced. We just don't know.
If any MMO sub-genre needs the Next Gen treatment, it is superhero MMO. At present I have played 3 Superhero MMOs (I have also played 3 supers table top games and read many more). Each superhero MMO (SHMMO) has failed on some key point.
City of Heroes/City of Villains (COH/COV) had much to recommend it in character design, especially given its age. I found the missions to wear thin after a while, however and the template or metaclass system is not superhero appropriate.
Champions had the most attractive and robust paperdoll of any MMO I'd ever played. A SHMMO needs a vast, and I mean VAST, amount of colors, costume pieces, and body styles. Super is all about costume and powers. Champions, however, had uninspired gameplay. It promised far more than it could hope to deliver. It originally seemed to eschew the metagame templates, but as of Free-Play it is restricted to the same tired metaclasses.
DCU Online has mediocre costumes at launch and the color palette leaves a little to be desired. The power sets are not ideal (Superman is an 'ice' hero), but it's choice to separate the 'powers' from the 'combat skills' was great. DCUO comes closest to the superhero feel by having EVERYONE be a damage dealer, then tacking on the metaclass.
Just to be clear, by metaclass I am speaking of TANK, HEALER, DPS, RANGED DPS, CONTROLLER, etc. These roles simply do not fit the super hero mold.
Superman is often seen as a PROTECTOR or DEFENDER, which is superhero MMO METACLASS speak for 'TANK'. He absorbs damage, protects the hard hitters and controllers. Sure, of course he would step in front of a bullet to save Batman, but he is also a VERY HEAVY HITTER. Do laser beam eyes and the ability to move the planet not equate to DPS somehow?
MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A CATWOMAN
Anyone who grew up on tabletop RPG knows that problems are not always solved by simply doing damage. A thief sees the world differently than does a cleric or a wizard. When presented with a problem in a tabletop campaign a thief looks at his skills to survive and succeed, while a wizard looks at this spellbook. Unfortunately years of uninspired MMO programming and dull-witted children playing the games have led to the current state of gaming. The MMO does not provide multiple solutions to a problem, just multiple classes seeking the same solution: kill it. The stealther, the tank, and the nuker all need to do the same thing, which is outdamage the foe, they simply approach the goal in predictable, but different ways. When put together into a group they automatically fall into their role or fail.
Comic readers and fans of the genre know that there is more separating Flash, Batman, Spiderman and Superman than simply strength and roles. They think differently from one another. If a smilodon, brought through a time portal, was let loose in THE CITY, each would solve the problem differently. Batman would use a gadget to capture the beast, then spirit it away to the Batcave's Bat Prehistoric Menagerie Wing. Flash would use his speed to baffle the great cat, maybe fun off, get some bait, and lead it away from the public, tricking it into a zoo cage. Spidey would just web it up, but then the writers would forget how strong his webs are supposed to be and the sabretooth would just cut free. Supes wouldn't even get winded dealing with this. He'd probably fly it back in to the past as well.
In a standard MMO (fantasy mostly) the nuker would nuke it, the stealther would sneak up and use a set of combos and the tank would take a long time to kill it. No inspired gameplay.
SHMMO deserves a next gen treatment. Looking at the older DDO we saw a game where, through instanced gameplay, the DnD 3.5 classes actually used their 'skills' not just their line of damage abilities to solve problems. There were also puzzles that the player actually had to solve or suffer. There were traps for the rogue to disarm and locks that required a specific 'stat' like Charisma or Wisdom to undo. All of this made for a 'tabletop' experience. Bioware's Neverwinter Nights was capable of the same through networked play and modding.
SHMMO deserves such a treatment. Certainly the popular image of comics is the 4 color slugfest. Muscled men and buxom women duking it out in mindless violence. Every true comics fan knows that this image is false. Comics are varied and exciting with characters who eschew violence as much as bellicose pugilists glorify it. Shouldn't the Next Gen MMO be the SHMMO?
At present the SHMMO has fallen into the same boring MMO rut as the extant fantasy games. The metagame is still the same, with the metaclasses unchanged, save for the names, and no hope of inspired gameplay waiting in the wings. Things are looking grim for Star Wars: The Old Republic as well. SWTOR is being produced by Bioware, the company that brought the world two iterations of Neverwinter Nights and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. SWTOR deserves to be THE NEXT GEN MMO, but will it?
According to my sources, no it will not. Success in this business is determined by subscriptions. Bums in seats. Thus the designers must give the people what they want. The sad truth would seem to be that the people say they want fresh, new, and Next Gen, but demonstrate through forums, beta tests and their purchasing dollars that they want more of the same. If it ain't broke, don't fix it; what if it never worked in the first place?
The first MMOs grew from the love of the (tabletop) game, yet computers were just too limited to provide the full tabletop experience, which is one of possibilities and human interaction. The tabletop game featured game controllers who could and would fudge a die roll to save the story, who could adjudicate a situation not covered in the rules book (programming), and who were capable of shifting the pre-programmed adventure to suit the needs of the consumer. When presented with a cat that needed skinning, the tabletop GM could be convinced that perhaps the cat didn't need skinning after all. When presented with 4 standard ways to solve the problem the human GM could handle that new, innovative and slightly insane 5th way. None of this is part of the MMO. To make it mass market and profitable the designers needed to focus on doing one or two things well. Those things were combat related. Since that time MMOs have been defined by COMBAT and the esoterica of tabletop, such as Stats, Skills, and Choices have all given way to an action bar full of ATTACKS, SPELLS, and BUFFS. This is great in a wargame sense, but is not good enough for SHMMO and certainly not the path to Next Gen, unless, as failed evolutionary science teaches us, the Next Gen is just more of the same, parent to child to grandchild.
With such a shallow and polluted gene pool as we currently have in this post-Blizzard MMO world, how can we expect Next Gen to be any different from This Gen?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The relationship between Sci-Fi and Horror: The Creature
Recently I have been pondering things like the fact that Jaws is still a great movie and how much Science Fiction and Horror go together. Going back to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and possibly before, there has a been a relationship between Sci-Fi and Horror that works well. The two genres are not, I believe, wholly distinct from one another. If we look at them as existing on a spectrum there is significant overlap. Consider the aforementioned Frankenstein. Written using the science of its day and possessing social commentary aplenty, the story was also a Gothic ghost story of great skill and interest, spooking readers then if not now. In the 1950s in the United States comics, magazines, films and television shows all got into the Sci-Fi game, leaving behind the thoughtful writings of Wells and Verne for the Atomic powered horror of giant bugs, alien invaders and pod people. Still the science was contemporary (for popular purposes) and the subtexts were apropos. Overt alien invaders from Mars stood side-by-side with allegorical Communist Pod People in the cinematic worlds.
Into this new era of Science Fiction stalked (and swum) the Gill-Man, or, if you like, The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The eponymous Creature (who I will refer to as Gill-Man for the remainder of this article...probably) is a pre-historic throwback, a leftover missing link between man and fish. Obviously there is no such thing, nor would there be, but this does not stop Gill-Man from being one of the best Universal Monsters of all time. This is very important, actually, because Gill-Man is a Universal Monster. If you do a quick Google search for "Universal Monsters" you will see that the classic team lineup is Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Wolf Man, The Mummy (in bandages), the Bride of Frankenstein and the Creature (from the Black Lagoon). Save for the Wolf Man and the Creature, all of these classic monsters come from the 1930s. Wolfie was 1941 and Creature was 1954. What is especially telling is that the Gill-Man is considered one of the gang despite his younger age, lack of 'historical' or 'literary' basis and despite the fact that his movie is really more Sci-Fi than a 'monster' film.
I love the film and I love the character. The film marks a departure from the norm for a 50's film from a company like Universal, in that it freely speaks of evolution. The leading man and leading lady, Richard Carlson and Julia Adams, respectively, are a couple, but unmarried and living together, a not uncommon reality any time in history, but not something shown often on the big screen, save when viewing morally inferior 'villains'. The film was not a typical alien invasion movie or supernatural thriller, but a script about a fish-man that falls in love with a human woman and is attempting to protect its home from invaders.
The Gill-Man is a great movie monster, plain and simple. An anthropomorphic fish, or a hybrid fish-man, either way the creature is an imposing figure with claws (not present in any known fish), fins and a bass-like gaping maw. Admittedly his head does appear a bit like a middle-aged dude with a 'skullet' but let's try and remember that he is a fish-person.
Fish people are an interesting choice for movie monster because they automatically look alien to land bound mammals like ourselves. Consider Admiral Ackbar, everyone's favorite lobster man, or Kit Fisto, whose creature shop genesis is anybody's guess.
See, the aquatic provides a sense of alien mystique and cool points. Except for the lobster man. There is nothing cool about Mon Cal. Ever. And they have breasts. Mammaries? On a lobster-catfish-squid?
So cool is the Gill-Man that Macfarlane toys, the experts in when too much is not enough, made not 1 but 2 different sea-creature toys.
Here we see the first one, part of a series (two series to be exact) of monster sets. Each featured a monster, a setting and either a victim, opponent or supporting cast member. This was perhaps the most 'high concept' of the monster sets as the "playset" portion uses "wooden" poles to support a plastic 'water' under which the sea creature can be found. The old diving helmet and diver, armed with a harpoon, completes the scene. This creature is definitely human in design, evoking the Gill-Man imagery, but is oddly draconic as well. It is a fine sculpt.
Here is the later sea creature from the later, larger scale Macfarlane line. This line features sculpts that 're-imagine' the monsters even more, including a very batlike vampire and the most grotesque werewolf sculpt in the history of toys. Another fine sculpt, this time with hints of alligator in the face and a translucency to the fins. This creature is also huge. The severed human head on the hook gives a sense of 'scale' to the beast.
There are many reasons to like the Gill-Man, not the least of which is the fact that I just really dig sea monsters. Of the classic Universal Monsters, Gill is a great example of what a classic Universal Monster was all about. He's sympathetic, frightening and photogenic. The Gill-Man's story is one of doomed love, with his motivation being not the destruction of life, or the unnatural prolonging of his undead existence and in this respect he reminds us of the Mummy Imhotep who sought to bring back his reincarnated love. Yet Gill-Man is somehow purer than Imhotep. He only wants the human interlopers to leave his world alone until he meets the girl of his fishy dreams, and it is this smitten fish boy that is the tragic hero of the piece. Still, he remains a monster through and through with his alien body and mind. He thrilled audiences for three pictures before leaving the scene for good at the end of The Creature Walks Among Us, but his legacy lives on. Among the U-Monsters he is unique, for while Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula demonstrate great physical strength and the Wolf Man demonstrates savagery, it is the Gill-Man who alone resides in the water. He is like the Aquaman of the monsters, but is not the butt of lame jokes on websites the world over. He also received his own pinball game and was a feature member of the Monster Bash pinball machine from Williams.
In the Universal Monster band Gill-Man plays saxophone and you will note is the only member with a groupie. Even in the pinball game the Creature displays his aloof and alien manner, turning down multiple requests to join the band.
As a character that is both a Sci-Fi classic and a Horror icon from the Universal stable, I think that the Creature (from the Black Lagoon) is the perfect iconic figure to represent the genre overlap at its best. Of course, he is one of my faves, so I'm biased.
Creature from the Black Lagoon available on DVD, 4 stars, go watch it today.
Until next time, keep your Tiki lit.
Into this new era of Science Fiction stalked (and swum) the Gill-Man, or, if you like, The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The eponymous Creature (who I will refer to as Gill-Man for the remainder of this article...probably) is a pre-historic throwback, a leftover missing link between man and fish. Obviously there is no such thing, nor would there be, but this does not stop Gill-Man from being one of the best Universal Monsters of all time. This is very important, actually, because Gill-Man is a Universal Monster. If you do a quick Google search for "Universal Monsters" you will see that the classic team lineup is Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Wolf Man, The Mummy (in bandages), the Bride of Frankenstein and the Creature (from the Black Lagoon). Save for the Wolf Man and the Creature, all of these classic monsters come from the 1930s. Wolfie was 1941 and Creature was 1954. What is especially telling is that the Gill-Man is considered one of the gang despite his younger age, lack of 'historical' or 'literary' basis and despite the fact that his movie is really more Sci-Fi than a 'monster' film.
I love the film and I love the character. The film marks a departure from the norm for a 50's film from a company like Universal, in that it freely speaks of evolution. The leading man and leading lady, Richard Carlson and Julia Adams, respectively, are a couple, but unmarried and living together, a not uncommon reality any time in history, but not something shown often on the big screen, save when viewing morally inferior 'villains'. The film was not a typical alien invasion movie or supernatural thriller, but a script about a fish-man that falls in love with a human woman and is attempting to protect its home from invaders.
The Gill-Man is a great movie monster, plain and simple. An anthropomorphic fish, or a hybrid fish-man, either way the creature is an imposing figure with claws (not present in any known fish), fins and a bass-like gaping maw. Admittedly his head does appear a bit like a middle-aged dude with a 'skullet' but let's try and remember that he is a fish-person.
Fish people are an interesting choice for movie monster because they automatically look alien to land bound mammals like ourselves. Consider Admiral Ackbar, everyone's favorite lobster man, or Kit Fisto, whose creature shop genesis is anybody's guess.
 |
| Seriously, what the fuck are you? Squid eyes, catfish chin tendrils, lobster hands...orthopedic shoes...seriously, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU? |
 |
| "Yeah, mon, me gots the Space Rasta ting goin on" Head tentacles. This is all so wrong. |
So cool is the Gill-Man that Macfarlane toys, the experts in when too much is not enough, made not 1 but 2 different sea-creature toys.
Here we see the first one, part of a series (two series to be exact) of monster sets. Each featured a monster, a setting and either a victim, opponent or supporting cast member. This was perhaps the most 'high concept' of the monster sets as the "playset" portion uses "wooden" poles to support a plastic 'water' under which the sea creature can be found. The old diving helmet and diver, armed with a harpoon, completes the scene. This creature is definitely human in design, evoking the Gill-Man imagery, but is oddly draconic as well. It is a fine sculpt.
Here is the later sea creature from the later, larger scale Macfarlane line. This line features sculpts that 're-imagine' the monsters even more, including a very batlike vampire and the most grotesque werewolf sculpt in the history of toys. Another fine sculpt, this time with hints of alligator in the face and a translucency to the fins. This creature is also huge. The severed human head on the hook gives a sense of 'scale' to the beast.
There are many reasons to like the Gill-Man, not the least of which is the fact that I just really dig sea monsters. Of the classic Universal Monsters, Gill is a great example of what a classic Universal Monster was all about. He's sympathetic, frightening and photogenic. The Gill-Man's story is one of doomed love, with his motivation being not the destruction of life, or the unnatural prolonging of his undead existence and in this respect he reminds us of the Mummy Imhotep who sought to bring back his reincarnated love. Yet Gill-Man is somehow purer than Imhotep. He only wants the human interlopers to leave his world alone until he meets the girl of his fishy dreams, and it is this smitten fish boy that is the tragic hero of the piece. Still, he remains a monster through and through with his alien body and mind. He thrilled audiences for three pictures before leaving the scene for good at the end of The Creature Walks Among Us, but his legacy lives on. Among the U-Monsters he is unique, for while Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula demonstrate great physical strength and the Wolf Man demonstrates savagery, it is the Gill-Man who alone resides in the water. He is like the Aquaman of the monsters, but is not the butt of lame jokes on websites the world over. He also received his own pinball game and was a feature member of the Monster Bash pinball machine from Williams.
 |
| Monster Bash backglass |
In the Universal Monster band Gill-Man plays saxophone and you will note is the only member with a groupie. Even in the pinball game the Creature displays his aloof and alien manner, turning down multiple requests to join the band.
As a character that is both a Sci-Fi classic and a Horror icon from the Universal stable, I think that the Creature (from the Black Lagoon) is the perfect iconic figure to represent the genre overlap at its best. Of course, he is one of my faves, so I'm biased.
Creature from the Black Lagoon available on DVD, 4 stars, go watch it today.
Until next time, keep your Tiki lit.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Damn it's cold
As the actress said to the bishop...
But seriously, folks. It's cold. I don't like it. I'm sick of it. I want to be somewhere warm, beachy, drinks with umbrellas in...
Not happy. And for the record, neither is the wife. She, despite being a native of Virginia and having lived here nearly all of her life, is so over cold weather. We aspire to move south a bit, Gulf Coast perhaps.
The Caribbean. Swimming Pools. Pirates. Drinks with umbrellas in.
So today I decided that I feel sci-fi nostalgic again. I was going to talk about The Creature From The Black Lagoon and how much I enjoy that film. But really, sod it. A bloody classic that manages to be both a sci-fi classic and a Universal monster classic. Yep. Fish man.
Why is it that fish men, clearly lacking external genitalia, are so keen to mate with human women?
I bet Admiral Ackbar would taste yummy if boiled alive and dipped in drawn butter. In fact that is probably the best way to torture a Mon Cal for information: dip him in drawn butter and then watch him try to eat himself. (Lobsters are highly cannibalistic, and I don't care what the name is {Squid Man...Mon Calimari} those guys are bloody lobsters)
Many Mon Cal ate themselves to bring us this information.
I mean, if you had four Mon Cal stuck on a life raft together after a shipwreck they would waste no time getting to the part where they eat one of the group. Probably before the supplies ran out. Because they are going to need drawn butter.
This marks the fourth time I've used the words drawn butter without any clear notion of what makes it drawn. Butter I understand, but the rest of it...meh....as long as I get to go to Red Mon Cal for dinner.
"Would you like to hear about our specials today?"
"Shit. Why not, sweet cheeks?"
"Today we have potato bisque for soup, a lovely Ceasar ranch salad. Our fresh catch is Mahi."
"How's the Mon Cal done?"
"Boiled alive and served with drawn butter. A dandelion green salad on the side."
"How is it caught? Humanely I hope."
"Oh, it's a trap."
But seriously, folks. It's cold. I don't like it. I'm sick of it. I want to be somewhere warm, beachy, drinks with umbrellas in...
Not happy. And for the record, neither is the wife. She, despite being a native of Virginia and having lived here nearly all of her life, is so over cold weather. We aspire to move south a bit, Gulf Coast perhaps.
The Caribbean. Swimming Pools. Pirates. Drinks with umbrellas in.
So today I decided that I feel sci-fi nostalgic again. I was going to talk about The Creature From The Black Lagoon and how much I enjoy that film. But really, sod it. A bloody classic that manages to be both a sci-fi classic and a Universal monster classic. Yep. Fish man.
Why is it that fish men, clearly lacking external genitalia, are so keen to mate with human women?
I bet Admiral Ackbar would taste yummy if boiled alive and dipped in drawn butter. In fact that is probably the best way to torture a Mon Cal for information: dip him in drawn butter and then watch him try to eat himself. (Lobsters are highly cannibalistic, and I don't care what the name is {Squid Man...Mon Calimari} those guys are bloody lobsters)
Many Mon Cal ate themselves to bring us this information.
I mean, if you had four Mon Cal stuck on a life raft together after a shipwreck they would waste no time getting to the part where they eat one of the group. Probably before the supplies ran out. Because they are going to need drawn butter.
This marks the fourth time I've used the words drawn butter without any clear notion of what makes it drawn. Butter I understand, but the rest of it...meh....as long as I get to go to Red Mon Cal for dinner.
"Would you like to hear about our specials today?"
"Shit. Why not, sweet cheeks?"
"Today we have potato bisque for soup, a lovely Ceasar ranch salad. Our fresh catch is Mahi."
"How's the Mon Cal done?"
"Boiled alive and served with drawn butter. A dandelion green salad on the side."
"How is it caught? Humanely I hope."
"Oh, it's a trap."
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I am a Wizard...and I sword!
Ahhh, wizards, those mysterious weavers of magic, those glass cannons of RPG fame, those pointy hat sporting, dress wearing, broomstick soccer playing, making some limey tart a multi-billionaire figures of fantasy and folklore.
Mr. Gary Gygax and Mr. Dave Arneson forever cemented the imagery of wizards into our minds with their little game, you might have heard of it, just a trifling thing, Dungeons and Dragons and in so doing completely bollocksed the whole wizard concept.
Thanks to these two gentlemen wizards in popular media, especially gaming, are woefully ill-equipped to defend themselves from aggression. They can't use/don't carry swords.
Swords are common in fantasy, perhaps far more common than they ever were in history. It seems that the default weapon of any European-inspired fantasy world is the long sword. By this I mean that not only is the long sword the 'go to' weapon for uninspired DMs and fantasy writers, but it is also the baseline for 'damage' calculations. DnD long swords, for example, have always been 1d8 damage, which is the same as the hit die for a 0 level human 'commoner'. Thus this weapon is dangerous but not some WMD of Medieval proportions.
So common is the long sword in fantasy lit/gaming that even thieves and bards could use them in 2nd edition AD&D. Yes, friends, the sneaky sneaky gits and the poets could swing long swords like a champ, but not the wizard. Why? Oh, good question. According to the DnD guys it is because a wizard spends the majority of his life studying the arcane and getting little exercise, so he doesn't have the time to learn to use swords or wear armor.
Uh huh.
It's actually a misguided attempt at 'balance'. See, the magic guy can summon fire without flint or tinder so he doesn't need a cool sword. These guys also made sure to limit that fire summoning drastically. So that famous scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail...the one with Tim...
Well that just won't happen. Tim doesn't have that many spells per day. Or maybe he does and he just used them all up being impressive, which is why he doesn't help with the vorpal bunny. (Shite, ubernerd alert, I just used 'game logic' to explain something unrelated)
So the remedy? Warhammer. Well, Warhammer Quest anyway.
Now that's a wizard, yes?
Let's just do a run down:
Pointy Hat? Check
Robes with sigils? Check
Staff? Check
Long sword? Check
Beard? Check
Bag of scrolls and assorted paraphernalia? Check
Waitadamnminit....
Long sword? Yeeeessssssssss
Now elves have long been candidates for the multi-class fighter/mage role, which means of course that they get to have more 'hit points' than a wizard and use fighter weapons and can fight well enough and still throw a fireball when they want. Not the poor humans, nope. Well sod that, I say. Warhammer gave me a wizard with a sword and for that I thank them.
Ahh, yes, the original badass in a dress with a blade. Seriously, look at this guy. He went by many names including Mithrandir, which is Sindarin for 'Elderly man with whom , emphatically so, it would be most wise for you to not fuck'.
And here's one more, from Wizards, Warriors and You, just to illustrate MY point.
A wizard with a sword is a wonderful thing. Let go the old, outdated notions of wizards being restricted and let the swords swing freely. It all comes down to game system, I know, and the game systems that realize that the wizard does not need 50 penalties to make up for his 1 advantage (spell casting) get my vote. Especially since those damned clerics seem to just cast all day wearing armor. Ah yes, wizards and armor...well, that's for another time. A simple system like Warhammer Quest offered (and Advanced Heroquest before it) or simply realizing how foolish it is to lock a 'class' out from a weapon that is being treated as something as commonplace as a baseball bat in modern America, is the solution to this irrational prejudice against spellcasters. For Gygax's sake, haven't they suffered enough with their low hit points, poor combat profiles and less than manly dress code?
Now in your average MMO this is all pointless as wizards are simply nuke machines that lob distanced damage spells or control battlefield conditions and use some sort of recharging mana system. They don't need swords. But then most of those games are shite anyway.
Until next time, stay lit.
Mr. Gary Gygax and Mr. Dave Arneson forever cemented the imagery of wizards into our minds with their little game, you might have heard of it, just a trifling thing, Dungeons and Dragons and in so doing completely bollocksed the whole wizard concept.
Thanks to these two gentlemen wizards in popular media, especially gaming, are woefully ill-equipped to defend themselves from aggression. They can't use/don't carry swords.
Swords are common in fantasy, perhaps far more common than they ever were in history. It seems that the default weapon of any European-inspired fantasy world is the long sword. By this I mean that not only is the long sword the 'go to' weapon for uninspired DMs and fantasy writers, but it is also the baseline for 'damage' calculations. DnD long swords, for example, have always been 1d8 damage, which is the same as the hit die for a 0 level human 'commoner'. Thus this weapon is dangerous but not some WMD of Medieval proportions.
So common is the long sword in fantasy lit/gaming that even thieves and bards could use them in 2nd edition AD&D. Yes, friends, the sneaky sneaky gits and the poets could swing long swords like a champ, but not the wizard. Why? Oh, good question. According to the DnD guys it is because a wizard spends the majority of his life studying the arcane and getting little exercise, so he doesn't have the time to learn to use swords or wear armor.
Uh huh.
It's actually a misguided attempt at 'balance'. See, the magic guy can summon fire without flint or tinder so he doesn't need a cool sword. These guys also made sure to limit that fire summoning drastically. So that famous scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail...the one with Tim...
Well that just won't happen. Tim doesn't have that many spells per day. Or maybe he does and he just used them all up being impressive, which is why he doesn't help with the vorpal bunny. (Shite, ubernerd alert, I just used 'game logic' to explain something unrelated)
So the remedy? Warhammer. Well, Warhammer Quest anyway.
Now that's a wizard, yes?
Let's just do a run down:
Pointy Hat? Check
Robes with sigils? Check
Staff? Check
Long sword? Check
Beard? Check
Bag of scrolls and assorted paraphernalia? Check
Waitadamnminit....
Long sword? Yeeeessssssssss
Now elves have long been candidates for the multi-class fighter/mage role, which means of course that they get to have more 'hit points' than a wizard and use fighter weapons and can fight well enough and still throw a fireball when they want. Not the poor humans, nope. Well sod that, I say. Warhammer gave me a wizard with a sword and for that I thank them.
 |
| My name is Gandalf, and I like to hold my sword in public. |
And here's one more, from Wizards, Warriors and You, just to illustrate MY point.
 |
| Pointy hat, robes, cape and...wait for it...MAGIC SWORD! |
A wizard with a sword is a wonderful thing. Let go the old, outdated notions of wizards being restricted and let the swords swing freely. It all comes down to game system, I know, and the game systems that realize that the wizard does not need 50 penalties to make up for his 1 advantage (spell casting) get my vote. Especially since those damned clerics seem to just cast all day wearing armor. Ah yes, wizards and armor...well, that's for another time. A simple system like Warhammer Quest offered (and Advanced Heroquest before it) or simply realizing how foolish it is to lock a 'class' out from a weapon that is being treated as something as commonplace as a baseball bat in modern America, is the solution to this irrational prejudice against spellcasters. For Gygax's sake, haven't they suffered enough with their low hit points, poor combat profiles and less than manly dress code?
Now in your average MMO this is all pointless as wizards are simply nuke machines that lob distanced damage spells or control battlefield conditions and use some sort of recharging mana system. They don't need swords. But then most of those games are shite anyway.
Until next time, stay lit.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A Christmas Carol-Characters Pt 1
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge is the protagonist of A Christmas Carol and is described by Dickens thusly:
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shriveled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas.
 |
| George C. Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge...I enjoy the performance, but I always thought Scott looked a bit too well-fed to match Dickens's description. |
The three paragraphs that follow continue to explore the character of the character himself, establishing and underlining the secret, self-contained personality of the man. The physical description, while somewhat allegorical to his personality, accurately paints a picture of the thin, white haired man who cares little for personal comforts and appearance, preferring to be known by reputation alone. We see in him characteristics common to Dickens's villains more than his heroes, but then Scrooge is not properly a hero, although he is the protagonist of the work. He does have positive qualities however and Dickens takes care to point them out where appropriate, especially as we observe Scrooge's progress on the path to redemption.
Of these positive qualities we can count Ebenezer Scrooge as a rational man, having little 'fancy' about him, he is also shrewd in business, cunning and quite intelligent. Dickens says of him, "... or wholly forgetting in the interest he had in what was going on, that his voice made no sound in their ears, he sometimes came out with his guess quite loud, and very often guessed quite right, too; for the sharpest needle, best Whitechapel, warranted not to cut in the eye, was not sharper than Scrooge; blunt as he took it in his head to be." It can also be said that Scrooge has a sense of humor, if somewhat sardonic, as evidenced by certain comments such as, “’You’re particular, for a shade.’ He was going to say ‘to a shade,’ but substituted this, as more appropriate.”
In Scrooge we see a character who is unlike previous Dickens protagonists in that he is already quite aged when the story begins, however as Carol is shorter than such classics as Oliver Twist by hundreds of pages, we are not dealing with the life and adventures of the protagonist, but merely a single spectacular event in that life, with attendant notes on the future progress of the protagonist. The story is functional in its presentation of the redemption of Ebenezer Scrooge with Dickens drawing a picture of a thoroughly unpleasant person that becomes completely changed as a result of the events of the story. Some critics have suggested that Scrooge's conversion is accomplished too quickly, but I disagree. Scrooge's time with the spirits is not a fixed period of a single night but is a limbo of sorts during which time Scrooge experiences more than any living man could. Dickens employs a three part arc to bring his protagonist to his redemption.
The Ghost of Christmas Past: During Scrooge's time with the Ghost of Christmas Past his simple boyhood joy, empathy and sympathy are first re-awakened. By showing him scenes of his childhood Scrooge is first brought to tears of sadness and then laughter before finally having indignation and anger awakened within him. Given his solitary personality and his insistence that it is enough that he know his own business without needing to know the business of others, it was necessary to first crack the icy exterior of the man with a flood of memories before attempting to entreat any good nature that may be hiding within. The Ghost of Christmas Past is somewhat sarcastic at moments and harsh toward the very end of the chapter, but is aloof throughout its encounter with Scrooge. It is during this chapter that we learn of Scrooge's essential weakness, which is fear. Scrooge, according to Belle, fears the world and seeks to be beyond it's 'sordid reproach.'
The Ghost of Christmas Present: The second part of the redemption process and by far the longest of the ghostly encounters is the third chapter featuring Christmas Present. Christmas Present is a jolly figure who takes Scrooge throughout the world to see and experience the Christmas holidays, finally terminating their journeys after a children's Twelfth Night party. Christmas Present's method is to awaken in Scrooge a sense of joy and humility by showing him how much there is in the world and his fellow man to love and appreciate, while also showing Scrooge how much there is that needs the helping hand of those fortunate, such as Scrooge himself. In his past Scrooge was reminded of the growth of his own dark nature and fears. By contrast Christmas Present plays a friendlier role with our protagonist, yet when he leaves he leaves Scrooge with bitter words and a harsh lesson in the nature of the world seen through the wretched allegorical children "ignorance" and "want".
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| Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Present being shown "ignorance" and "want" |
The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come: Described as a faceless, voiceless phantom seemingly a burial shroud of a figure, this ghost operates solely through gestures and has no comfort or joy to impart to Scrooge. The first ghost awakened sympathy in Scrooge and the second joy, but the third offers nothing but fear. Through this operation is Scrooge finally brought to his full redemption, for upon awakening he is truly a new man, in every way the opposite of his former self.
Dickens's creation of Ebenezer Scrooge has become quite famous in English speaking countries and is arguably his best known character, outstripping Oliver Twist, Pip, and even David Copperfield (American stage illusionists notwithstanding). This is due in no small part to the character's memorable portrayal in prose and film and the work's theme, which is Christmas itself. The Internet Repository of Common Knowledge (IRCK, aka Wikipedia) lists 46 actors to have played Scrooge (or an equivalent character in a version of A Christmas Carol) since 1908. The work is a popular choice for holiday theatre as well (I've seen it twice on stage). As a result of this popularity the character has become synonymous with misers and curmudgeons. This is unfortunate as after his conversion, Scrooge becomes, "...as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world." Yet perhaps the reasons that people choose to use Scrooge to express the negative aspects of a person are simple: Scrooge spends more time in the book being nasty than he does nice and frankly he's more memorable as the sharp-tongued miser than as the changed man who is, by his own admission, "...as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man."
Whether you prefer him nice or nasty, mean-spirited or warm-hearted, he is in a few short pages one of Dickens's best written and most psychologically satisfying characters and an icon of Christmas as much as trees, dinners, and jolly old elves that bring presents down chimneys and long may he be read and performed to teach us all a lesson about Christmas Spirits.
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