Zombie Costumes Spoiled for Choice?

Or just plain spoiled?
Okay, puns aside, you have so many options for a zombie costume that it boggles the mind.  Some are good, some are okay, and some are shite on a cracker.  If you want to leave your manufactured off-the-peg costumes aside and make your own, you still have lost of tools available.  You have make up, appliances, masks, gloves, and little fiddly bits the stores overcharge you to obtain.  Keep in mind that a good number of these are gauzy or shredded as with pinking shears.
So your first question really is, to rot or not to rot.  I say rot.  The grodier the better when it comes to zombies.

These are a sample of what I call "the best".  I've given them names because I have warm feelings toward them.  Eddie is actually an old classic I've seen on the shelves for ten years or more.  That's staying power and why not.  Look at the wonderful exposed bone features, the grimacing face with pits for eyes, and the tattered clothing.  To me this is classic zombie at its gory best.  Tommy is a nice variation with stringier hair and more skull.  Less of the red blood accents, but that's quite alright.  Cliff is a newcomer to the bunch and the clothes work in gauze more than I'd like, but that's quite a good mask and the whole picture just works.  Any of these, or something like them, and I'd say you are a success.  Cliff gets bonus points for the lack of shoes.

Here we have a not-so-good selection.  Look at Heinz there.  This goes back to what I've been saying about a zombie just being a person that is undead.  He was going to Oktoberfest, he got zombified, decided to go anyway.  The half mask is minimal effort, the gauze on the costume serves no purpose and the lederhosen are just wrong.  While a knee-length lederhosen is fine, the tattering argues that these are not the proper length beforehand.  Father Funk there, well he's got a good mask, but it's just zombie priest.  We've seen it before, try a bit harder to be edgy, 'kay.  Street zombie over there is nothing you could do cheaper and better with your own clothes.  I just don't understand our Roman zombie.  If you have the build for a gladiator why go the zombie route?  That's a $73 costume and that's without the sandals, helmet, shield, and sword.  To top it all off, you need make up because, expand and look closely, that's not even a mask.  Sorry kids, this is not a costume, it's a tease for a costume.

Now these two are quite fun.  Why must your zombie be super gross and scary?  How about artsy, cartoony, and funny?  If your choice is between one of those embarrassing costumes like Oktoberfest zombie and Plants v Zombies, go with the big head cartoon.  Pop art zombie is a nice way to fit the theme and stand out from the crowd, but you must be willing to wear a bit of make-up and have the skills to do the line work.  Still, it's a fun option.

Kids actually look pretty cool as zombies.  I think it is because the proportions are scaled down for kids, but kept as adults.  Essentially they are all munchkin zombies.  This is a representative slice, but dig it, you have kid versions of many of the adult selections and in the case of homeless street hoodie zombie there in the bottom left, I'm given the award to the kid.  He looks 1000% more zombie than the adult model. Here we have zombies from all walks of human life, a couple of medical professionals, a homeless guy, a ninja...
Okay, let's be fair.  I did say you could combine zombie with anything, right?  Well once, when I was a wee kiddie, I combined werewolf and Ghostbuster.  That's just how kids think.  Zombies are cool.  Ninjas are cool.  You know what would be really cool?  Zombie Ninja!  If you are an adult doing this it better be superlative.  I mean it, it better be triple A choice, only for the professionals and executives.  I'll let a kid slide on a stupid mask, but not an adult.
Which is why I'm not having a go at our Zombie Southern Belle over there.  Here's a little secret info for everyone, a lot of little girls like to be pretty and glamorous.  Yeah.  It's not all playing in dirt and arguing for rights and stuff.  Here's a costume that takes glamour and marries it to zombies.  I think it's both a winner and a loser, to be honest.  Southern Belle, Louisiana, voodoo, classic zombie (that is, not rotting), but it could also be a ghost with the gauze and white make up.  Let the kids be kids.

I almost didn't include these examples because they aren't zombies and because they are crap.  Sorry, but it's true.  They are, however, part of the whole zombie thing.  Post-Zombie-Apoc Hunters.  Again this is nothing you couldn't do for yourself and likely better.  Most of what you see is not the costume, rather you see lots of accessories you must pay extra to obtain.  Look at our tweenage hunter girl.  Axe included?  Nope.  Boots?  You're kidding, right?  What about Mr. Five-O'Clock-Shadow there?  Did he kill a zombie and then shrink the head?  No other way to explain the hatchet.  Really he's just a douchy cowboy with some blood on him.  I might forgive it on a kid, but not an adult.  Really, outside of films made for SyFy channel, how often do you see this sort of zombie hunter?

Let's close out this article with a helpful anatomy lesson, shall we?
The OFFICIAL CELTIC PUMPKIN HANDY GUIDE TO THE CRAPPY ZOMBIE COSTUME.
I realize not everyone is as devoted to costuming as, say, myself.  I'm no cosplayer, but I appreciate creativity, effort, and style.  Many of your store bought options have at least one of those qualities, sometimes two, but many don't.  You get what you pay for, they say, but sometimes what you pay for is total crap.  Here is a case in point.  Everything about this costume just screams lack of effort and style.  From the poor quality fabric that clings in all the wrong places and does not sit properly to the stocking mask and gloves, this is bad.  Stocking masks and gloves have been popular for some time now, and I can understand the reason.  They are cheap to make, lack all durability, and thus have a nice profit margin for the manufacturer.  When you go to grip things your fingers don't quite curl correctly and for your head, well nothing says immersion-breaking like realizing that your zombie has no ears, hair, or line of demarcation.  Avoid at all costs or become a laughingstock fit only for mocking.  Besides, you are going to pull that mask off 5 minutes into the party to eat and drink and your hair will be all wet with sweat.  Not fun for anyone.

That about wraps it up for zombie costumes, kiddies.  You have many choices and we didn't even look at masks and make up.  As always the choice is yours, but I implore you to choose wisely.

Keep your pumpkins lit.