Saturday, September 20, 2014

Event Food Horizon

I love to go to places that sell food.  I know, you are thinking, "That's called a restaurant."  I'm not talking about restaurants.  I'm talking about the food you find at carnivals, festivals, snack bars and the like.  Event Food.  Food sold at events.
I was standing in the shower when my wife says, "We should go to the botanical gardens this Spring when the new flowers bloom."
"Do they sell hot dogs?" I asked.
"Yes, but what do hot dogs have to do with the botanical gardens?"
"I like hot dogs."

No matter the event, when I go, I want to eat something.  It's not even a matter of being hungry.  I just like event food.  I like food trucks too.  That place that sits in front of the big box DIY store (it's called Dominics in my area) smells great.  They make a great Philly steak.  That's how I feel about event food.  I didn't go to Lowe's for lunch, but since I'm there...

One of the reasons that I still patronize Busch Gardens, despite all their bullshit, is that I like the food.

An asshat feeding a shark on his t-shirt.  BG's smokehouse is a favorite of mine.

Sex on wheels holding a pickle.  Very suggestive.

That is what EVENT FOOD is all about.  Also, diabetes.

For the record, I did not purchase or eat that cupcake.  I wasn't even tempted.  Okay, that last sentence was a lie.

The thing about event food, for me at least, is that the quality, no matter how good, is not the same as an actual restaurant.  You don't see a food truck sporting Michelin stars.  Indeed there is an actual taco truck in Ocracoke, not a tourist taco truck, and it sells wonderful food, but it's not getting rated on the restaurant guides.  It's street food, God bless it.  Event food is its own world with regard to quality.  You don't go to the snack bar and expect fine dining style plating.  You expect a cardboard boat full of french fries.  You can church it up, sure.  A cardboard boat full of pommes frites, but it's still fries.  Instead of stars I think Metal Punkins are a better gauge of quality.  And we don't use Event Food as an excuse either.  I've had truly shitty food at events and believe me, I don't appreciate it.  I want good taste, good quality, and a nice presentation.  If it is a clever presentation, like the above cupcake, that's extra points in my book (I am a man that believes that Halloween Oreos somehow taste better than regular Oreos due to the dynamics of the design on the cookie as it hits your tongue and the color orange in the creme filling), but that can't overcome shitty food.  Both in the figurative sense and in the literal sense.  If event food has you dashing for the nearest dunny that's bad.  I have learned to forgive Ren Faires for having turkey legs as I get older as well.  See, I'm growing as a person.

Busch Gardens Smokehouse with its brisket and ribs, always hot and tasty, always smokey and succulent gets:

In my book.


  1. I so hear you on this; I go to events for the FOOD! Some of the more inventive foods come from transient events like fairs and festivals. I have yet to be able to try fried butter (yes, it's real) but it's next on my list.

    1. You, sir, are a man of sublime tastes. I also have yet to try, or even see, fried butter, but I assure you I would try that.