Thursday, July 19, 2012

Dread and Trepidation in the Prime Time

Friends, it is with great unease and distaste that I (ahem) await the coming of Mockingbird Lane the ill-chosen re-imaging of the television classic The Munsters.
I've been following the developmental progress of M.L. infrequently and frankly I am not happy about what I see  coming down the pike.  The Munsters is a show near and dear to my heart.  I explained all of this previously in THIS post.

From what I can tell (and a big Thankyewvermuch to Tom Krohne and his blog Monsterfink's Midnight Monster Spookshow, check him out if you haven't yet, you won't be disappointed) this show is shaping up to be The Gates PART TWO-ew-ew-ew-ew (that was an echo effect, by the way).  Yes, let's follow up a failed Monster Mash show with another, nearly identical Monster Mash show.  Let's do that.
I could make a laundry list of reasons why I don't want this to happen.  Am I just bitching?  Am a nostalgia's bitch?  I will present a few of the points that, as they say whence I come, stick in my craw.  From Bryan Fuller ( creator, writer, executive producer and alleged fan of the original ), his own words:
1) "The fact that Herman is in a constant state of decay and he's married to someone who doesn't age. We get to play with all those insecurities. The fact that he was made by his father-in-law and then has to live up to those standards; he's always trying to find his own identity."
Say what?  Herman is not a zombie.  He is not in a constant state of decay.  He is, for all intents and purposes, Frankenstein's Monster.  He is alive, immortal, and powered by electricity.  He is not decaying!  He was certainly not made by Grandpa.
2) It's an ensemble, but the emotional point of view is from Herman because it really is about a father who is realizing his child is taking after the other side of the family. He has so few things in his life that are his, and his son Eddie was one of them -- and now Eddie's more like Grandpa than he is Herman.
Holy shit. Edward Wolfgang Munster was a werewolf. Is he not a werewolf anymore? That was part of the charm.

3) Audiences now don't remember The Munsters, unfortunately, because it should be celebrated. For a lot of people, this will be their first exposure to it and those of us who are familiar with it on television will be, "OK, this is another version of a great concept."
They don't? It gets play in syndication. You can purchase the DVDs. They made a sequel series fergourdssake! So if audiences don't remember this show how is it that we all know it is The Munsters and for whom is this being made? "I wanted you to enjoy The Munsters son, but never like this. I am so, so sorry. I'll call your therapist."

4) The Creature from the Black Lagoon will be like [1988's] Splash, Too: When he's wet he's the Gillman. That's one of the best makeup effects -- prosthetics -- that anybody has done, that monster costume. And when he's dry, he's a handsome guy.

Oh screw you. Seriously, eat a bowl of hickory smoked salty clown dicks and die. In a fire.

Am I taking this too personally?

Should I not wait to see it before I pass judgement?

No and no. Look, the purpose of trailers and posters and interviews and, well, hype is to get you interested in experiencing something. The trailers, for example, are there to make you want to watch the film. If you watch the trailer and then don't want to watch the film that is what happens. I don't have time, nor the desire, to experience every single thing on this earth to determine if it is "good" or not. Many things aren't, and that is disappointing. Anyway, I know what I like. I don't need to eat hippo dung to know that I won't enjoy it. I can just live without the knowledge, dig?

Finally, I just want to say, and if you need more details, or even want them, you can read the older post, that I like the Americana of The Munsters. The original show was, to me, like a Rob Zombie video. It was chock-a-block with that mythical America where cowboys drive hot rods and people don't whine constantly. I want Herman Munster to be like the classic sitcom dad of old, not some brooding, whining twat.

Until Bryan Fuller recognizes the error of his ways...keep your pumpkins lit.

In memorium.


  1. Hickory Smoked Salty Clown dicks. I am SO remembering that one! LOL

    And, I agree. The Munsters needed a re-imagining like I needed another hole in my head.

    1. It has come in useful many a time, I can assure you. Thanks for dropping by and saying hi.