Monday, January 11, 2016

What Is That Wizard Doing (and When Is He Doing It)?

We are skipping ahead again as book 7 just had a werewolf on the cover.  Werewolves are cool and all, but that's all it was.  It wasn't a werewolf menacing either of the protagonists.

Conquest of the Time Master is the 8th book and we have both the Wizard and the Warrior (but not You as You are assumed to be one of the twain at any given time).  The heroes face off against the evil Time Master, so there's time travel.  If you name a book Conquest of the Time Master, you expect to have a cover illustration that sums up time travel and there you have it, a bloody dinosaur.
Our heroes are standing on a bit of rock (a common enough motif, to be sure) and there is a slavering allosaurus.  The Warrior is doing what we expect of him in every case, sword arm cocked back in mid-swing, shield up to protect himself but of course we want to know just what in the hell is that wizard doing?
Sadly this is a common pose for the Wizard, isn't it?  Cloak billowing, arms outstretched and...nothing.  No magic sparkles, no lighting bolts, no weird smokey energies; he's just going, "Ahh, shit, a dinosaur!  Yes, I know I've ridden dragons but this is a damn dinosaur!  Do something, my old friend!"
Oh he looks very regal in his usual magic pose, but we have none of his usual visual effects leading me to believe that what the Wizard is doing is acting all imperious and giving orders.  Of course when faced with a massive carnivore that could snap you up and end you in one bite, it makes little sense for the guy in the robe to be leading the charge.
As usual, the Wizard is relying on his reputation as a manipulator of mystical forces by posturing rather than actually doing anything.  I'm sure his master trained him in all the right poses and such as an integral part of his apprenticeship.
A nice cover, to be sure, but our boy the Wizard is not showing much after his glorious start riding a dragon and his magical zombie duel.  I expect better, sir.


  1. I think I'd save the dramatic posing for a foe that might actually be intimidated by it. "There are those who call me... Tim."

    1. You know how messed up game rules are, though. You probably can intimidate an allosaurus in most games simply by rolling well enough.