I Wanna Be A Scarecrow

Ah yes, the traditional "What the hell am I going to be for Halloween?" process has begun.

Anyone who remembers last year will remember my great desire to dress as a ghost and the efforts I put forth to make that happen.  I felt it was a reasonably successful.
I also mentioned being a scarecrow last year and it was close there for a while in my head.  I've long desired to do a scarecrow costume but I honestly don't have enough time to really craft it up right.  A scarecrow costume would seem to be a simple one to do, but if you are not careful you end up looking like either a farmer or a hobo.
I want something I can like and be instantly recognized as being.  We aren't going to repeat that Beowulf fiasco of 1996...
I mean, I had a monster arm torn off at the shoulder and I was dressed as a Viking.  How could I NOT be Beowulf?
I've been cruising the costume sites and I've seen some nice masks and some not so nice masks.  I've seen some decent costumes and some shite costumes.
I've had to ask myself what a scarecrow really has to do with Halloween anyway, as I once mentioned here.
As I determined they are associated through harvests and ancient fertility rites and just being bloody creepy.  Which is good.

I like it; I can't help it.  It is "vaguely creepy".

I saw this costume for the first time this year on Spirit Halloween's website.  Deathcrow scarecrow is simple and inexpensive.  I like it, but I'd like to do more with it.  You don't really need straw and cornstalks but it certainly sells the image.

Straw and dripping eyeball really sell this image, but I'm not buying it.

I considered the very popular pumpkin-headed scarecrow but have dismissed it for two reasons: 1) I did the pumpkin-head thing two years ago (and once many years before that) and 2) I like the burlap sack head look for a scarecrow costume.
I also like button eyes.

Not button eyes, but creepy stitching and a bleeding eye.  Very nice.

Mask or costume?  Always a good question.  I have clothing bits I can use, so a mask would work, but then I will need a good mask or I will have to make one.
And won't it just be me in my own clothes?
Well, yes, but I'd add "features" like corn stalks and some blood or something.  I suppose I could make my own mask...with BUTTON EYES!

Hard to be scared of Senor Scrotum-Face

Which is a helluva lot better than this official Scarecrow from Batman mask.  I mean look at it.  It looks like a ballsack.
I also want to avoid the "friendly" scarecrow:

If I only wasn't lame...

Kinda douchy really.

Straw, creepy face, scythe, a crow...this is a good scarecrow, although failing at its primary job

But there is a variation that is more badass, seen above.

Cool and hip?

Now I like this guy (above) with his sewn lip molded face, pointy fingers and burlap hood.  It's creepy in the way that the 1988 classic Scarecrows was.

No.  Just...no.

Darn it all, but I love that guy.

I'm sure I'll make another last minute decision .

Keep your pumpkins lit, kiddies.

Pumpkin Carving

Despite the weather from Tropical Whatever Sandy ruining the shit out of our Samhain bonfire for the second year in a row, and despite the almost total lack of support from the world around, and lack of interest, and generally crap temperatures...

I'll come in again.

Despite all that stuff up there we carved two Jack O'Lanterns tonight.  Our pumpkins had been out on the front steps during the inclement weather and as it is a rainy, crisp 45 degrees outside they were quite chilled when we started to carve.

Frau Punkinstein had a particularly tough rind on hers that made delicate carving a real chore and after a few unfortunate knife moves she decided to change her plan and ended up with a very nice bat silhouette design.

I went with a silly face.  I don't plan these things, the pumpkin tells you what personality is inside and dammitall if this wasn't a happy-go-lucky Jack-O, which it was.

Speaking of Jack-O...

NOT the original VHS box art which was much more interesting to me as it featured much more Jack-O!  This looks more like a Fulci film poster.

Have you seen that film?
I rented it years ago solely on the basis of its VHS box art.  Yes, V-H-S.
It is not nearly as lame as you would expect.  Killer Jack O'Lantern man, undead warlock shoehorned into the film via the magic of stock footage of the late, great John Carradine, scream queens, 1990's sort of hard rock low budget sort of slasher vibe, heroic child...this is a classic in its way.  I'd put it in with killer scarecrow movies but Jack-O is more demon than straw man, even if he does look a bit scarecrowesque.

See you on the flipside.  Keep your pumpkins lit.

Ghost Spotlight: The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow

Greetings Fright Fans.

I'm not sure when I first discovered the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, but I do know that from my young days this ghost and the story from which he comes have been favorites of mine.  I don't really know why the Horseman appeals to me, but I have long enjoyed various interpretations of the tale, an original by one of America's greatest ever writers, Washington Irving.

A card from Magic the Gathering (a Wizards of the Coast product) showing a very well done painting of the classic character and as the flavor text says...it is just what it says on the tin.

The basic story, as I am sure we all know, is that of a Connecticut schoolmaster by the name of Ichabod Crane who takes up residence in  Tarry Town in New York state, decides to woo the heiress of a vast Dutch family farmstead, comes up against her chief suitor, Brom Bones, and ends his time in the community being chased by the Ghost of the Headless Hessian and is never seen or heard from again.  Irving's particular writing style gives the tale a familiar, fireside spook-tale feel and it is telling that it is still enjoyed today both in its original form and in several adaptations on the big and small screens.  There have even been comic books based on the tale, so well-written is it.

I don't remember what the first version of the tale was that I encountered.  I believe it was either Disney's version found originally in The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad  or the made-for-television version from 1980 that starred Jeff Goldblum as Ichabod Crane and Dick Butkus as Brom Bones.  I confess I enjoy both.  When Sleepy Hollow (directed by Tim Burton) was released I was most impressed thanks to its captivating style, story, and gorgeous visuals.  There have been many other works based on the short story and I have enjoyed many of them.

From the Wizard's of the Coast website, this is the 3rd edition DnD horseman.  It's okay.

The Headless Horseman- Not the main character of Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, the Headless Horsemen is certainly the draw for the audience and the main event as well.  In nearly all the subsequent adaptations of the work the Horseman is the character around which the tale revolves and even though Ichabod Crane is essentially a more important character to these works, it is the Horseman that we all remember time and again, and that includes the Tim Burton version as well.
In character the Horseman is a ghost, said to be the spirit of a Hessian soldier that died "in some nameless battle during the Revolutionary War," and nightly rides forth from his grave in search of his missing head, carried away by a cannonball.  The Horseman rides, as his name suggests, a horse (called a goblin horse by Irving on several occasions) and in his one appearance in the story (which might have been Brom Bones) carried what seemed to be his head on the pommel of his saddle, but was later revealed to be a pumpkin, or so it appeared the next day.

Most Hessian soldiers wore blue coats and calf high boots, it would seem, but this is of little consequence to the story as the Horseman is supposed to be a ghost and can dress as he likes.  In most film adaptations the Horseman wears black.  It's slimming and fashionable any time.

The Horseman as he appears in Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow taken from the comics adaptation.  This Horseman was famously played by Christopher Walken with teeth filed to points, a gigantic longsword and attire reminiscent of fantasy leather armor.  In Burton's completely supernatural tale the Horseman is definitely a ghostly force to be reckoned with and the minion of a powerful witch.

The Headless Horseman from AD&D 2nd Edition Ravenloft setting.  Throughout the Ravenloft setting one can find characters from literature and film (gothic horror and more modern cinema horror).  This Headless Horseman rides the roads between the realms followed by the severed heads of his victims.  A pretty intense villain but under-used I'm afraid.  Surprisingly his picture looks more traditional than one would expect from a fantasy game, but then Ravenloft was not the usual fantasy setting.

The Horseman from Disney.  This version of the Horseman is simple, hardly more than a black silhouette, but the purple cloak, the red-eyed steed and the flaming pumpkin, along with its being one of the first depictions in moving pictures, makes for an iconic Hessian.

So enduring is the Horseman in popular culture that he appears as a unique monster in World of Warcraft...and that's about all I am willing to say on that subject.

John Quidor, a personal friend of Irving, produced an iconic painting depicting the Horseman wherein he looks much as we would expect a Hessian to look in dress.  This is perhaps the original defining picture of the horseman.  Note the colors of the clothing and that the pumpkin is not carved into a Jack O' Lantern.  The Hessian's horse's wide-eyed look is a bit comical, I think.

Fantasy artist Frank Frazetta went with a rustic, old America charm for his take on the Galloping Hessian.  This is a very detailed painting and very good in my opinion.  The horse looks a bit out of sorts but I like the expression on the pumpkin's face.  An odd, but interesting choice, was to simply create a flat featureless surface for the neck.  Not quite what one would expect from a body that had its head carried away by a cannonball.

This old issue of Classics Illustrated is one example of the Headless Horseman in comics and a simple but decent cover to boot.

The second issue of Eternity comics two part Headless Horseman miniseries.  This story was a departure from the traditional version but a good tale all the same.  The covers are in color but the interior art is all B&W.  I like the look of the Horseman's black cavalry outfit, although it is of a style more reminiscent of the later Napoleonic era or even the American cavalry of the Old West period.  The wispy flaming face I am less keen on.  If I remember correctly this version actually makes Brom Bones into more of a hero.

There many more versions of the Galloping Hessian in art, music, film and print, but I think we've seen enough for now.  A little research will reveal that headless ghost figures, including mounted headless ghost figures are not uncommon in legend and story.  There is something of a universal appeal to them wherever people have heads and ride horses.  I won't say the Headless Hessian of Sleepy Hollow is the best, but he was the first I encountered so that puts him head and shoulders...well shoulders at least, above the rest in my book.

Long may he ride.
Keep your pumpkin (heads) lit.

Halloween Album Review: Halloween's Gravest Hits

Spooky?  Ooky?  Lappadookie?

This little gem I picked up from my local library after hearing several tracks while listening to Pandora: Halloween's Gravest Hits.
From it's EC Comics inspired cover to its interior art and yes, even its music, I call this one a winner for your Halloween musical needs.  The tracks on this album are all previously released material and all quite old.  I consider this a major plus, by the way.  The cover of the disc clearly states "Resurrected From the Capitol Crypt" which again has the EC flavor and lets you know what you are getting.

Visual Aid!

TRACK LISTING:
1. Thunderstorm (sound effect), 1961 EMI records
2. Monster Mash-Don Hinson and the Rigamorticians, 1963 Capitol Records
3. The Twilight Zone-The Ventures, 1962 Dolton Records
4. Spooky Movies-Gary Paxton, 1963 Capitol Records
5. Squeeky Door Open & Close (sound effect), 1961 Capitol Records
6. Dracula's Deuce-The Ghouls, 1964 Capitol Records
7. The Munsters Theme-Jack Marshall, 1964 Capitol Records
8. Castin' My Spell-Johnny Otis, 1959 Capitol Records
9. Ghostly Sounds PT. 1 (sound effect), 1961 Capitol Records
10. Hearse With A Curse-Mr. Gasser & the Weirdos, 1964 Capitol Records
11. Werewolf-The Frantics, 1960 Dolton Records
12. Riboflavin-Flavored, Non-Carbonated, Polyunsaturated Blood-Don Hinson and the Rigamorticians, 1964 Capitol Records
13. Creaking Door (sound effect), 1961 EMI Records
14. The Lurch-Ted Cassidy, 1965 Capitol Records
15. Fear (Main Title from "One Step Beyond")-The Ventures, 1962 Dolton Records
16. The Graveyard Shift-The Ghouls, 1964 Capitol Records
17. Howling Winds (sound effect), 1961 EMI Records
BONUS SPOOKY SOUND EFFECTS
18. The Stroke of Midnight
19. Opening Castle Door
20. Wrought Iron Gate Squeak & Close
21. Stairs Creeking
22. Squeak One
23. Squeak Two
24. Ghostly Sounds PT. 2
25. Ghostly Sounds PT. 3
26. Ghostly Sounds PT. 4
27. Ghostly Sounds PT. 5
28. Ghostly Sounds PT. 6
29. Ghostly Sounds PT. 7
30. Ghostly Sounds PT. 8
All Bonus Tracks 1961 EMI Records

All in all it is a good disc.  I like the old surf rock spook tracks quite a bit.  The weak point for me is "The Lurch", which is just not a good song musically speaking.  The tracks represent the work of rotating studio bands like the Ghouls, which was a Beach Boys side project as I understand it.  I don't like the Beach Boys at all, but I dig these tracks.
I loathe sound effects tracks.  I absolutely despise sound effects discs.  A sound effect is a great thing when used properly but too often on these Halloween discs the sound effects are comprised of one or two good spooky sounds and a bunch of pointless noise tangentially related to Halloween.  Storms, rain, bubbling cauldrons and then something like "gasps and shrieks" that sounds more like an asthmatic running a footrace in high humidity.  If used properly a sound effects disc can make your front yard haunt seem all the better and moody, but too often it is just put the bloody disc on repeat and listen to sounds that pull you out of the haunt mood.  When interspersed through a disc it can provide a flow and feel that makes the whole album feel organic, but again that is too often a failed attempt.  I am ambivalent to the sound effects cut as tracks between the songs and as for the bonus tracks...well I don't feel like it was much of a bonus.
There is an expanded version of this disc available on Amazon with a purple cover vice red that I have not heard but would like to do.

Give it a shot and keep your pumpkins lit.

Pirate Costumes-Creaking Rigging on the Midwatch

Don't breathe, mates, for there be spirits about on this vessel.  Ghost pirates...the very concept should chill the marrow in yer bones.  No good can come of it, I'll be bound.
Why ghost pirates?  Why not?  It is Halloween we are speaking of, and it is a time for ghosts and goblins and spooks of all sorts.  Pirates might have inspired terror in their day, but today they are just so much fan-fic fodder.  Ghost pirates, into which group I include skeletal and zombie pirates, and any other horrific take on the classic form.  I likes pirates I do and I likes monsters.  Combine them and you have a winner in my logbook any day.

Our first trio of spooky pirates features a Wicked Neverland Captain Hook.  Say what you like about Captain Hook, he's pretty cool.  The Disney cartoon incarnation from Peter Pan is sort of sissy by pirate standards, but the character is at heart a nasty, villainous pirate.  The Wicked version above has a mustachioed skull face and a stylized skull hook for a hand.  I like how the blade-like hook juts from the mouth of the skull.  The skull motif epaulet and tattered jacket are very good as well.  The kicker-boots are a bit jarring, but it is a good costume all the same.
The fellow in the middle has an uninspired jacket and trousers and the one gloved hand and one skeleton hand are an asymmetrically unpleasing combo.  The only good part is the slightly oversized skull with its raised eyebrow ridge.  I like the smirking nature of it.  It is Jack Sparrow's swagger without the swishing.
On the right we have a more serious looking skeleton pirate.  It is a decent costume with a washed out look and plenty of bones.  It may lack style, but you could work with it.

Of these three I put the clear winner as the ghostly buccaneer amidships.  Larboard we have a decent boney buccaneer, but note that the face is done in make-up, which is something you'd have to do yourself.  If you lack the skill or are allergic this would be a disappointing costume indeed, but a nice skeleton mask (a basic one would do) would make this a fine choice.  What I like best is the gauze torn shirt and the trousers.  It fits no specific theme or time but can be for any of them.  The costume highlights the bones, which is where the spook-factor comes in.  Get some top-notch accessories and this beats a Jack Sparrow any day.
The cigar-chomping, hook-handed swab in the lower right is my least favorite of them all, but it has appeal.  The gauze is what makes it work, lest it look like a cheap mask (a mask indeed, but cheap it is not).
The ghostly fellow dead center requires a bit of accessorizing to work.  The costume itself could be paired with a mask of some sort (skull, demon, ghost, etc.) to make a frightening variation, but to go the standard route you'll need some sort of make-up kit.  It is a shame the hands are not done as well, but then a creative and skilled artist could work wonders with the attire.  A zombie parrot would be a welcome addition to any of these costumes.

Spookiest...
This is not a costume but damn it all, that is how a ghostly undead pirate should look.  If you could pull off that look you'd be the star of any pirate party, Halloween or no.
I'd put him up against Barbossa (cursed, obviously) any day and Blackbeard'd never stand a ghost of a chance.  Have him skewered in a brace o' shakes, he would.

Make your heading north by north-east and set a course for Nassau, lads; we've finished this cruise.

Keep yer pumpkins lit.

Pirate Costumes-Accessorize! Work it, girl!

Avast mates, we've weathered the worst of the storm but we're not clear yet.  We've a lee shore and treacherous sailing ahead still.

A primer

We've talked about the basics of pirate costumes in both history and traditional American Halloween, but we should look more closely at those accessories that really make the costume work.  Take a look at the picture above.  That collection of pirate accessories is really all you need to be recognized in costume during Halloween.  You could put on a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt and as long as you had the basic accessories you'd be recognized as a pirate at Halloween.  Conversely you could have a beautiful coat, waistcoat, slops and buckle shoes and people would wonder what you were supposed to be.
As bad as those items are on the picture above, they create instant recognition of your buccaneer status.  The waistcoat or vest is almost guaranteed to get you in, especially if it is gauche enough to sport the old skull and crossbones.  I wouldn't be caught dead in it, but hey, what pirate would.  (Well, all of them, logically)

Hands on hips not the best look for a pirate trying to be intimidating.

Perhaps you feel like you need a puffy shirt to sell the pirate look.  I do not recommend it.  The two gents above have chosen a puffy shirt, hat and eye-patch look and nothing else.  Yes, just slip on your flared club pants and your puffy shirt and spend the night by the punch bowl talking like a twat and saying arrrgghh.

The two pictures above show a really nice bad-ass set on the left, with stylized eye-patch, cutlass and hook, again all you need to say, "I'm a pirate of no great skill or luck," and on the right is a Jack Sparrow accessory kit.  No, really.  See, if you want to be Jack Sparrow you can purchase a Jack Sparrow costume, but all the little details will not be provided.  This proves that costume shops are also into piracy.  I'm pretty sure that the furry thing is an official Jack Sparrow merkin...but then I don't go to those kinds of parties.

Hah hah hah...so you are on a tight budget, eh?  Down to yer last few doubloons and need some new kit?  What you see above is the most "affordable"* pirate accessories in any port.  You can tell they are pirate accessories because they have the old Jolly Roger on 'em.  I'm pretty sure they are made of plastic and denial.

Where would a pirate be without his weapons?  We all know pirate weapons of course thanks to television and movies: the cutlass, the pistol, um...that's it right?  Well, no, it isn't.  As I've said so many times before it depends on location and time period.  The sword of a pirate is essentially a hanger of some kind, but it need not be a cutlass.  A land fighting buccaneer could have a backsword.  An Elizabethan sea dog might have a rapier.  Pirates might use boarding axes, pikes, knives, clubs, or even a marlinspike or gaff.  Of the selection above I fancy the fantastical cutlass (middle, second from left) for looking badass and the Disney Blackbeard Sword of Triton on the right.  Weapons are one area where I like to go large.  That being said, I will forgive a non-accurate, historically speaking, weapon if it looks good.

Here's fun: Pirate Masks!  You don't have a beard?  Don't want to wear a fake one?  No problem, buy a mask.  Of these masks you can see that only one looks human (and that mask-glove-shirt combo on the left is wretched I might add).  The reason for this is the wonderful undead pirate concept.  POTC did it and made it look great, so why not give it a go, yeah.  1 is pretty bad, though.  The mask is subpar, the gloves look crap and the beard on the skull is just wrong.  I'm not saying you can't have a bearded skull (well, yes, technically you can't, I know) but if you are going that route wouldn't a grizzled grey one look better?  This particular undead pirate looks as though he's just used a comb through hair dye.  Is he going ashore for wenches and wishes to cut a more dashing figure?  Who can say?  And if you find someone who can, get them to explain why his eye-patch is so raggedly torn open.  (Yes, I know, so the wearer of the mask can see...but it can be hidden so much better).
How about #2?  I like it.  It's cheeky and fun.  Here the classic pirate headscarf, earring and patch are paired with a stylized skull.  It's a great mask but it would need a costume.  It deserves a good one, but a classic striped shirt and torn pants would probably work just as well.  Waistcoat is optional.
Now #3 is a fine mask indeed.  It is gruesome and horrid and wonderfully nasty and it extends to the chest, so you can get that all over effect.  I like the hat as well.
4.  The less said the better.
Shiver me timbers and all that rot.
And with that we are primed for our last installment.  See you on the midwatch, mates.

*read: shittiest

Pirate Costumes-2 Bells

Batten down the hatches, things are getting rough out there.

Oh do me a favor...at least try.

Egad!  It's the Pirates of Not Too Much Effort!  Each of the gentlemen above is in a costume that just doesn't cut the mustard with me, I'm afraid.  Take a look at A.  I sincerely hope that is a wig.  Even if it is, the whole thing is just bad.  The hat is too small for one thing, the mustache and goatee and shirt...hell the whole thing..is giving off a musketeer vibe.  You could use that costume if you were going as Ritchie Blackmore, if were thus inclined.  Now with B we see the decent start of a Dread Pirate Roberts costume (again with the Princess Bride references?), but it looks as though the guy either lost interest halfway through or couldn't find a good mask.  Need I mention the boot toppers?  I do like the two guns vice a sword thing because it is a different way to do the pirate trip, but the whole thing fails to say "pirate".  Out of respect for some friends of mine I won't tell what it does say.
C is bad and were it not for the conspicuous skull and crossbones motif on the scarves you wouldn't even know it was supposed to be a pirate costume.  It is more of a 80s hair band look.  I think this guy was actually going for a hair band costume, maybe Trixter or Warrant, and then he took a tube steak to the eye and had to wear a patch, at which point someone said he looked like a pirate and the costume was born.  I do like the stripey pants, but the boot toppers are shite.  So let's skip on to D.  Ah, the "classic" pirate look of striped shirt and faux wearing in giant triangular cuts for the pant legs and shirttails.  Oh, Poseidon, lord of the deep, drown this wanker.  This costume in a combination of several classic kiddie pirate costume bits all thrown together in the wrong way.  The boot toppers, which do not meet the trousers really sell this picture, don't they?  I don't know what is better the big skull and crossbones belt or the headband.  Daniel-san, I teach pirate, you learn pirate.

Because I said it couldn't get worse...

Ye gods!  That other batch may have shown no effort, but this lot has...and in so doing has managed to somehow be worse.  Nay, they are the WORST I COULD FIND.  I realize that seems like hyperbole, but trust me, these are the worst that I could find given the amount of effort I was willing to put forth.  Things like this sap the will, you know.
From the left: Wow.  The whole thing seems to be made from pantyhose.  We've seen the faux tattered pants before and even shirts, but now witness TATTERED EVERYTHING.  Perfectly tattered.  Somebody went buck wild with the pinking sheers I can tell you.  It's horrible.  Just horrible.  But hey, no boot toppers.
Cruising along toward the starboard, amidships if you will, we have...what is that?  It's shiny, it's silly, it's...I don't know what.  As though the diaper on the head and giant eye-patch were not bad enough (and they are) what really sells it for me would be the two toy cutlasses.  Oh yeah, very intimidating to be sure.
Finally we have Captain Soap Opera.  He really does look like the sort of pirate you see in soap opera flashbacks and dream sequences.  Yes, I have found a pirate costume so crap it couldn't even be on the cover of a cheap romance paperback.  It looks like felt and tatters and the best bit is, if you look beneath the boot toppers...yes...Cowboy Boots!  Yee Haarrgggh.

You might be thinking that you could do better.  I assure you that you could.  Of course if you've a mind to make a costume and be either a classic Halloween pirate or a historically accurate pirate you will need accessories.  Maybe you have some of the gear already (from those Ren Faires you go to) and you just need a few things to "complete the look".  Fear not, for in our next installment we will discuss accessories.  Frankly this is a necessity since none of the costumes I've shown you thus far come with all the little fiddly bits that really make it work, such as it is.  Purchase any one of the costumes I've shown you and you will find yourself missing at least a third of the "good stuff".  You'll have shirts, vests, coats, pants but no earrings, beards, hats, swords or guns.
Be brave and sail on with me, won't you?

Where's my pumpkin?