Monday, October 22, 2012

Pirate Costumes-Accessorize! Work it, girl!

Avast mates, we've weathered the worst of the storm but we're not clear yet.  We've a lee shore and treacherous sailing ahead still.
A primer
We've talked about the basics of pirate costumes in both history and traditional American Halloween, but we should look more closely at those accessories that really make the costume work.  Take a look at the picture above.  That collection of pirate accessories is really all you need to be recognized in costume during Halloween.  You could put on a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt and as long as you had the basic accessories you'd be recognized as a pirate at Halloween.  Conversely you could have a beautiful coat, waistcoat, slops and buckle shoes and people would wonder what you were supposed to be.
As bad as those items are on the picture above, they create instant recognition of your buccaneer status.  The waistcoat or vest is almost guaranteed to get you in, especially if it is gauche enough to sport the old skull and crossbones.  I wouldn't be caught dead in it, but hey, what pirate would.  (Well, all of them, logically)
Hands on hips not the best look for a pirate trying to be intimidating.
Perhaps you feel like you need a puffy shirt to sell the pirate look.  I do not recommend it.  The two gents above have chosen a puffy shirt, hat and eye-patch look and nothing else.  Yes, just slip on your flared club pants and your puffy shirt and spend the night by the punch bowl talking like a twat and saying arrrgghh.

The two pictures above show a really nice bad-ass set on the left, with stylized eye-patch, cutlass and hook, again all you need to say, "I'm a pirate of no great skill or luck," and on the right is a Jack Sparrow accessory kit.  No, really.  See, if you want to be Jack Sparrow you can purchase a Jack Sparrow costume, but all the little details will not be provided.  This proves that costume shops are also into piracy.  I'm pretty sure that the furry thing is an official Jack Sparrow merkin...but then I don't go to those kinds of parties.

Hah hah you are on a tight budget, eh?  Down to yer last few doubloons and need some new kit?  What you see above is the most "affordable"* pirate accessories in any port.  You can tell they are pirate accessories because they have the old Jolly Roger on 'em.  I'm pretty sure they are made of plastic and denial.
Where would a pirate be without his weapons?  We all know pirate weapons of course thanks to television and movies: the cutlass, the pistol, um...that's it right?  Well, no, it isn't.  As I've said so many times before it depends on location and time period.  The sword of a pirate is essentially a hanger of some kind, but it need not be a cutlass.  A land fighting buccaneer could have a backsword.  An Elizabethan sea dog might have a rapier.  Pirates might use boarding axes, pikes, knives, clubs, or even a marlinspike or gaff.  Of the selection above I fancy the fantastical cutlass (middle, second from left) for looking badass and the Disney Blackbeard Sword of Triton on the right.  Weapons are one area where I like to go large.  That being said, I will forgive a non-accurate, historically speaking, weapon if it looks good.

Here's fun: Pirate Masks!  You don't have a beard?  Don't want to wear a fake one?  No problem, buy a mask.  Of these masks you can see that only one looks human (and that mask-glove-shirt combo on the left is wretched I might add).  The reason for this is the wonderful undead pirate concept.  POTC did it and made it look great, so why not give it a go, yeah.  1 is pretty bad, though.  The mask is subpar, the gloves look crap and the beard on the skull is just wrong.  I'm not saying you can't have a bearded skull (well, yes, technically you can't, I know) but if you are going that route wouldn't a grizzled grey one look better?  This particular undead pirate looks as though he's just used a comb through hair dye.  Is he going ashore for wenches and wishes to cut a more dashing figure?  Who can say?  And if you find someone who can, get them to explain why his eye-patch is so raggedly torn open.  (Yes, I know, so the wearer of the mask can see...but it can be hidden so much better).
How about #2?  I like it.  It's cheeky and fun.  Here the classic pirate headscarf, earring and patch are paired with a stylized skull.  It's a great mask but it would need a costume.  It deserves a good one, but a classic striped shirt and torn pants would probably work just as well.  Waistcoat is optional.
Now #3 is a fine mask indeed.  It is gruesome and horrid and wonderfully nasty and it extends to the chest, so you can get that all over effect.  I like the hat as well.
4.  The less said the better.
Shiver me timbers and all that rot.
And with that we are primed for our last installment.  See you on the midwatch, mates.

*read: shittiest

No comments:

Post a Comment