Special Feature-The ISBA Files

Friends, at great personal risk to myself I have obtained a copy of the most secret of the ISBA (International Spirit Bothering Association) books, their spirit guide, and have reprinted selected passages for you here.  This came at no little danger, I assure you, for the ISBA guards their secrets jealously if not very well.
For all of you that grew up wishing you had a real Tobin's Spirit Guide from Ghostbusters, this is for you.
Enjoy.

 Mocking Farter-First identified by ISBA field investigator Frank Farkle with ISBA scribe Jonas Spaltezahn in attendance.  Upon noting a smell that Jonas described as, “very similar to rotting vegetation with a sharp tang like hot sauce or vinegar, with a cloying consistency and notes of cigar” he proceeded to question Farkle about it.  Frank described a silently laughing man of some years from whose spectral presence Frank believed the smell to have originated.  Jonas Spaltezahn could not confirm the presence with visual affirmation, but trusted Farkle’s experience and credentials in the matter.

Big Epersonator-First identified by ISBA co-founder William Congers while investigating a haunting at a small casino off the Las Vegas strip.  During the investigation Congers, along with ISBA scribe Jonas Spaltezahn, and veteran ISBA field investigator Frank Farkle, detected a scent he described as, "like bacon, peanut butter, bananas, and Quaaludes".  The trio employed night vision goggles and EVP whereupon the vague and hazy outline of the apparition was detected along with the refrains of "Love Me Tender" and "Hound Dog".  Farkle's assumption was that there should also be "Little Epersonators" based on the inverse reciprocal of psychokinetic energy law, which states that the less talent the Elvis Impersonator had in life, the bigger the spiritual manifestation.  

Lingering Poot-First identified by ISBA field investigator Frank Farkle while on assignment with Martha Bilkins and ISBA scribe Jonas Spaltezahn.  While performing an EVP session alone in the study of the long-abandoned Quarterstone Manor, Martha Bilkins said that she heard a “pufft” noise, not unlike, “somewhat wet flatulence”.  As the group rejoined in the study there was a “lingering scent, similar to boiled cabbage with a hint of corned beef and the acrid tang of vinegar”, as described by Jonas.  Farkle then explained seeing an “amorphous cloud, slightly tinged, that appeared and sat about undisturbed by the air”.  He noted that he had seen it for nearly a full two minutes, but sadly he did not have his camera ready, as he was changing the batteries at the time.  Neither the scribe, nor Bilkins could confirm this apparition.

Taunting Clotheshorse-Perhaps the least frightening ghost ever identified by ISBA investigators, and certainly the vainest, the Clotheshorse is a spirit that obsesses over fashionable attire, but being dead it tends to fail to keep up with the times.  ISBA field agent Harry Kiwis has attested that the spirit is easily offended by living beings with no relative fashion sense, but has all the threat potential of, "a Scooby Doo villain."