Sunday, October 12, 2014

Aliens and Halloween: Close Encounters of the Economic Kind

Continuing our survey of fantastic extra-terrestrial life we come upon this specimen:
"Greetings, Terrans.  Have you considered the benefits of investing in a community poised on the brink of vast economic expansion?"
Lizards-always trying to sell you something.
Thank you, Captain.  May I have a detailed scan, please?
Very nice, thank you.
Our subject is one of many saurian type species that seem to exist everywhere in the universe except Earth and her solar system.  Evolutionary Xenobiologists tell us that saurian species arose on planets where the dominant life forms remained reptilian or the equivalent of our dinosaurs (endothermic, advanced intelligence).  They maintain the reptilian features in terms of skin type and color variety, dentition, and habits.  Which means they have disturbing eating habits and all speak with a lisp when dealing with human sibilants.  You know, they say, "Ssssso nissse to ssssee you."  This can lead to major problems in social interactions.  The good news is they don't want to probe your nether regions.  The bad news is that they tend to be cold-blooded, in human terms.
Our subject is wearing the common garb for his social level in his culture.  Or her culture.  You can never tell with saurians as sexual dimorphism is less pronounced to human eyes.  The collar is an inversion of the classic high collar because saurians of all types consider Greys to be "showy bassstardsss".  Most saurians are obsessed with galactic conquest, which is a hold-over from their primitive source species need to expand through reproduction or die.  Some more socially advanced saurians, like this one, form strong communities then try to get other species to invest in their economies.  Same principle, really, and almost as disastrous to their targets as saurians are not known for being especially loyal to races that just a thousand years ago were food.
Did you see V?  Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Assessment: Threat level very high depending upon type, but either way not the most pleasant beings to be around.

Tune in next time as we continue our exploration of the "best" space has to offer!


  1. You should have saved the Bossk/Gorn comparison for this type. Also Cylons were said to be reptilian who were conquered by the robots who stole their name. They may have been their servants until they rebelled, i can't remember.

    1. Fair enough, mate. I think it was robot servants stole name of reptilian race, but I might be mistaken.
      Honestly I wrote this article before the article with Bossk and the Gorn. It was my desire to present a solid background for aliens in general before I got to the bulk of the jokes that inspired the Bossk/Gorn thing, and then my petty dislike of the Flannel One sort of crept in.