Monday, October 27, 2014

Robots and Halloween: Metallic Doom

Robots: they are scary as hell, aren't they?
They have no souls, no human emotions, they are coldly logical, which means they should be able to be reasoned with but as we all know they cannot be reasoned with.  Because robots have a mission.  They are programmed to fulfill functions and that is what they do.  Thinking machines are even more dangerous.  Robots may seem all safe with their Asimov Robotic Law fail-safe programming but you know what always happens.  It happens with your cable box and your desktop and anything with an OS.  Things go horribly, horribly wrong and you end up murdered when all you wanted was to watch the Breaking Bad marathon you recorded on your DVR.
Robots, depending upon their programming tolerances, take things literally.  Has anyone considered how much those Asimov Laws are not part of robotic development?
Would the Terminator be able to terminate if it was bound by the 1st Law of Robotics?
Remember, a robot is programmed to perform tasks and that is all it cares about doing.
"Is that?  What is that?"
Thank you, crew.  May I have a detailed scan, please?
*Oddly enough the Robot is not one of them.
Very nice.  The Funkmeister 9000 is a machine with a mission.  Programmed to groove and do nothing but groove, the android dance machine will be the highlight of your next mixed-species transhuman party.  Just don't get in its way and don't let the music stop.  It has no conscience.  It cannot be stopped (plutionium-adverium batteries guaranteed for a minimum of 400 standard years of nonstop booty drop action).  It cannot be stopped; it feels no pain; it cannot be reasoned with; you will get served.

Assessment: This is one of those Morphsuits that was once reserved solely for kinky fetish parties and now has become quite acceptable in polite society.
Oh, you don't believe me?
Not at all suggestive
See what I'm saying?
The morphsuit is fine as long as you take a few things into consideration.  In our android example above it looks like a lean, efficient machine.  If you are not a lean, efficient machine the morphsuit will show that.  To everyone.  These things cling like skunk stink.  Consider also that you can't really wear anything under them without that showing as well, so your package is right out there.  In the morphsuit.  Out there.  Finally unless the costume concept is one of a slender figure type they tend to look wrong.  Frankenstein's Monster, a traditionally blocky type, just looks goofy as one.
Funkmeister 9000-Avoid.  Has no sense of humor.  Has no sense of style.  Prone to malfunctions during operation leading to wholesale slaughter of organic beings easily triggered by break dancing, for which it is poorly designed.

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