Friday, October 10, 2014

Aliens and Halloween: First Contact

To get our exploration into this facet of Halloween lore started I've enlisted the help of a few people you might know: the crew of the NCC-1701.
Captain, commence with the crazy.
"Have you ever really looked at your dollar bill?"
Our first subject is a standard type 1 Grey.  It sports a classic space costume which we will see often attributed to aliens.  Since the days of Flash Gordon there has been the pervasive belief that advanced alien intelligentsia wear a sort of academic's uniform of robes with a high collar.  Contrast this to the alien abduction recreations where the aliens always show up buck naked.  I suppose that is a sign of how advanced they are since we need protective gear just to go into the upper atmosphere of our own planet or visit our moon, but these cats can just wander the cosmos in their altogether.
Detailed scan please.

Here we see the alien in its full glory.  Basic Gray form with long fingers ending in large bulbous tips.  Texting probably never caught on with this species.  It would be a nightmare to tap the keys unless their mobile phones are just freakin' huge, which sort of defeats the purpose.  The robe is nearly free of adornment save for that gold trim.  Either this guy is from a culture that has an abundance of gold and finds it mostly valueless or he is a being of high stature.  To me he looks stoned.  I suspect he is the alien at the party that gets baked and then thinks he is being all philosophical by pointing out the obvious or sharing his conspiracy theories.
"Have you ever seen the pyramids of Terra?  You know what those are?  Engines, man.  Engines built by the ancestors of our people."
He probably believes that humans left Earth billions of standard years ago and brought technology to his people in a sort of Ancient Astronaut reversal theory.

Assessment: Harmless.  He is unlikely to probe your orifices but he is likely to corner you and start sharing his conspiracy theories and/or poetry.

Stay tuned for more life-enhancing information soon.

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