Saturday, October 19, 2013

Pumpkin People: Classic Evolution

As stated in my previous best selling article Pumpkin People: Some Classic Examples the beginnings of the race and/or tribes of Pumpkin People can be found in the gardens of America.  The first of their kind seem to appear in the very early 20th century and are an entirely vegetable life form.  It would not always remain so.  As the Pumpkin People grew in both numbers and popularity a new form of Cucurbita sapiens spawned  having more human-like bodies but with pumpkin heads.  Many variations can be found, among them jack o' lantern heads (the most common) and naturally occurring human faces on living pumpkins (less common but by no means rare).
Drunken Pumpkin People know how to party
The anatomy of the basic humanoid Pumpkin Person is a relatively normally proportioned body with 3-5 fingers and flesh in a range of colors including greens, oranges, human flesh tones, and occasionally woody browns.  Unlike their purely vegetable ancestors these Pumpkin People show modesty by wearing clothing.  No single type of clothing is common and one can find Pumpkin People in folk costumes, simple but serviceable workaday clothes, or dressed to the nines.  Like their ancestors they engage in a variety of practices and are often seen in the company of witches and black cats.
Jack o' lantern body, stripy costume.
On the way to full humanoid bodies the Pumpkin People discarded their vegetable bodies and hazarded legs and arms sprouting directly from their huge pumpkin bodies, faces on what we would call their torsos.  You don't get from cucumber arms and legs to full human form overnight.  No indeed, it requires a painful growth process.  The Happy Pumpkin man above is from 1945, clearly a genetic throwback to the transitional Pumpkin People.  Of course the clothing suggests it is merely an artistic representation of what the Pumpkin People were years and years before.
Again a transition Pumpkin Person.  Arms and legs growing from the bottom of the pumpkin.  The body form is moving forward to a more natural aesthetic.  This particular Pumpkin Man is running forward to menace some boys that have foolishly chosen to wear Buster Brown costumes on Halloween.

And now the most disturbing Pumpkin Person image on this blog
Holy Shit!  That's a Pumpkin Man about to eat a pumpkin pie!  Do I have to explain why this is WRONG?  If you aren't seeing that scene in Hannibal where Hopkins makes Ray Liotta eat his own brain, well, you are now.  You are welcome.

Which brings us back to the evolution of completely vegetable Pumpkin People to the more human versions with clothes and sexual dimorphism.  I mean, look, those Pumpkin Women have breasts.  Mammary glands.  Ta-tas.

As an example of Halloween imagery the Pumpkin People have a striking feature that is essentially Halloween: the pumpkin.  As the American culture changed from less and less agrarian to more and more urban the Pumpkin People changed with it.  The primitive idol of harvest and fertility changed into a more human and urbane figure, but another change would come somewhat simultaneously with the urbane humanoid Pumpkin People where scarecrows would have a major influence on the species and we would begin to see a change to what we have today.
Teaser for what's to come


  1. Cute, but still retaining a sense of the bizarre!

    1. This is vegiopology, mate. Which is like anthropology but with 59% less anthro!