Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Night of the Ungrateful Dead

This is part 2 of Zombie Hippie Massacre 1966.  To read part one (as though it would make more sense that way) go HERE

Gallowes Punkinstein could waste no more time on this hippie, he had to finish the battle and discover what was amiss at the old Franklin Place.
Die, granola boy!
Once he had dispatched his foe, Gallowes headed off across the grounds.  Another hippie rose from the ground to bar his path.  "Wait a rama-lama-ding-dang minute," Gallowes said, "I'm pretty sure that first guy wasn't even breathing before he got up to assault my person."  Synaptic seeds fired in his gourdish noggin.  "I may have a pumpkin for a head, but not a turnip...these are undead hippies!"
If there was one thing our hero despised more than dirty hippies it was zombies.
Take that you overused pop culture concept!  Oh for the days when a few zombies meant a scary good time and they weren't on every sodding thing from breakfast treats to underpants!
With wicked glee he realized he would get to take out his frustrations on two things he disliked at the same time.  "Och, what a bargain!" Gallowes said in an affected Scottish brogue.  His maternal grandpa, MacPunkin, would have been so proud.
Crackle and other electrical sound effects
Zap!  Gallowes held nothing back as he blasted another zombie hippie into bits.
What to do?  Although he could certainly pass a pleasant evening fighting the undead out-of-work menace he needed to make the haunted house safe for its more savory and productive inhabitants, like the ghosts and that goblin in the attic with whom he sometimes played at lawn darts.
He would go back inside and investigate.
Aahh!  More of 'em!
His path was blocked as he entered.
You dropped your jaw there, buddy.
Fight on!  The monster in front of him had its jaw nearly torn from its face, the flesh hanging ragged from its cheeks.  He supposed they would try to eat him if they caught him.  The irony of being eaten by an undead vegetarian was tempered by his realizing that his pumpkin head made him the ideal target for these dual-nature monsters.  What would Carl Jung say with such a subject, eh?
"The secret library!" Gallowes blurted out and took a moment to snap his fingers dramatically, knowing it would cost him precious seconds in combat, but style counts for something.

He had to bring this to a satisfactory conclusion for his Tesla magics could not last indefinitely.  In the secret library (being a library of secrets, not a library hidden from view, although it was that as well) he found what he sought: the Thanatobiblion!  Those foolish hippies he thought.  Then, hey, I do have internal monologue after all! If he remembered his legends of the old house, and he did, he recalled that the second owner of the house was buried with an ancient talisman that could stop all of this horror movie nonsense.  He must head for the family crypt, somewhere on the property.
Didn't expect an ice attack, did ya.  Oh the property damage!
But first to fight his way out...

Will our hero make it?  Tune in next time; same Punkin time; same Punkin channel.

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